Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
