Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
