Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
