4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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