You really coming over, don't trick.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
