He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
