If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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