i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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