It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
