so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
