Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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