I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
