she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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