he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
