i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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