just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
The air taste purple.
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