Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
