david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
