Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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