Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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