she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
