We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
