you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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