And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
