haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
