just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I don't deserve a penis
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
