i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
