So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
