she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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