I will die if light touches me.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize