Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
