JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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