i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
