Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
