end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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