This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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