I want to have your abortion
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
