he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize