He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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