We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
