you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
