i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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