Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
