Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
