WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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