Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
