I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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