I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
