yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
