and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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