would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
