guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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