sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
we're so committed to being not committed
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
