I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
