the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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