i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
These tits shall not be calmed
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
