i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
