What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
