It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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