you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
