She's JV to your varsity
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
