Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
