Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
