paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
