I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
