a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
