He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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